Saturday, September 25, 2004
Verbal (or should I say, blogger) diarrhoea: another thought that comes from taking too much history/history of science courses.
When that bloody frenchie Descartes was tired of travelling around the world (actually, just europe) trying to learn everything but in the end finding out that things aren't that absolute, he got pissed off, so he lay down on his nice comfy bed and said (along these lines) : "Fuck it, I'm going to doubt everything and start from looking at myself and using myself as a subject to learn about The Truth." And so he did, and he said "I can doubt everything but my brain. Since I know that I am rational, and that by the very act of doubting everything, I can only but not doubt myself and the grey-stuff-between-my-ears. I think therefore I am."
Well here's a question then. Been pondering about it from my own bed all the time: What the bloody ********** (insert your favorite obscenity here..see give u choice) hell is love? More importantly, why do we feel that way, (which way in the first place), and is that emotion rational?
Don't give me all the cliqued bullshit from the love songs and the forwarded emails. It just makes me puke.
Don't give me a physiological explanation, because it doesnt mean anything. More often than not, there is no one-to-one correlation on some bugger brain region lighting up in MRI when someone is in erm "love".
I don't think its just a mere need for attachment. For that we have our parents, and to a certain extent, our friends. (and sometimes our enemies hahahahahaa)
I don't think its a need for attention. If so, people will be changing partners every few months or so, depending on attention span of the person giving and the balance with the inevitable irritation.
It cannot and should not arise from loneliness. Though sometimes it might be factor, especially when you're sequestered abroad.
Admiration and the feeling of being admired? I always wonder how did I survive three years of that bullshit.
Sexual attraction? Ditto above.
I always had a niggling feeling that it might be merely a complex of feelings (and more to it than the list I mentioned above). The complex and its make up, of course, is idiosyncratic. However, having never felt it and not even knowing what to feel or to look out for, this is a paradox in itself. I know what is a crush, but what is the feeling of love? How can someone or something be defined as something that it is not?
Can it be ever rationally defined, when it is an irrational emotion to start with in the first place?
.....
This is giving me a headache. Wtf, i better go back to sleep then. (It just occured to me that I should record it down when I was dozing off in bed.)
When that bloody frenchie Descartes was tired of travelling around the world (actually, just europe) trying to learn everything but in the end finding out that things aren't that absolute, he got pissed off, so he lay down on his nice comfy bed and said (along these lines) : "Fuck it, I'm going to doubt everything and start from looking at myself and using myself as a subject to learn about The Truth." And so he did, and he said "I can doubt everything but my brain. Since I know that I am rational, and that by the very act of doubting everything, I can only but not doubt myself and the grey-stuff-between-my-ears. I think therefore I am."
Well here's a question then. Been pondering about it from my own bed all the time: What the bloody ********** (insert your favorite obscenity here..see give u choice) hell is love? More importantly, why do we feel that way, (which way in the first place), and is that emotion rational?
Don't give me all the cliqued bullshit from the love songs and the forwarded emails. It just makes me puke.
Don't give me a physiological explanation, because it doesnt mean anything. More often than not, there is no one-to-one correlation on some bugger brain region lighting up in MRI when someone is in erm "love".
I don't think its just a mere need for attachment. For that we have our parents, and to a certain extent, our friends. (and sometimes our enemies hahahahahaa)
I don't think its a need for attention. If so, people will be changing partners every few months or so, depending on attention span of the person giving and the balance with the inevitable irritation.
It cannot and should not arise from loneliness. Though sometimes it might be factor, especially when you're sequestered abroad.
Admiration and the feeling of being admired? I always wonder how did I survive three years of that bullshit.
Sexual attraction? Ditto above.
I always had a niggling feeling that it might be merely a complex of feelings (and more to it than the list I mentioned above). The complex and its make up, of course, is idiosyncratic. However, having never felt it and not even knowing what to feel or to look out for, this is a paradox in itself. I know what is a crush, but what is the feeling of love? How can someone or something be defined as something that it is not?
Can it be ever rationally defined, when it is an irrational emotion to start with in the first place?
.....
This is giving me a headache. Wtf, i better go back to sleep then. (It just occured to me that I should record it down when I was dozing off in bed.)
After a day of eating books, I've come up with a scientific explanation why 1) I don't have life 2) I won't get attached for a long time. So Jie Jie, when Ma asks why I haven't got attached, explain in terms of Wang's constant, that is used to describe Mugging efficiency.
Wang's Constant (mugging efficiency) W.
W= (Caffeine)(Time)^2(Panadol)/(Noise)(Emotions)^2(Lab Screwups)(Exams per week)(Social Life)(Writing assignments)^3(Stress)(Homesickness)(Loneliness).
Its quite obvious init. I need Time and Caffeine to mug. (Notice that sleep is not a factor). However, to keep W at constant high value, I need to cut down on noise (that's fine, my room this year is quieter), my Social Life (already limited to one outing dinner per week) Stress (which I cannot keep downsometimes) Homesickness (always at the back of my mind) and Loneliness(which .. errrgK). Looking at my life now, my mugging efficiency is higher than last semester. So, you can deduce how good my life is now huh? SO HOW I CAN GET ATTACHED LIE DAT HUH!??!!??!!?!?!??!?!?!? (so mama, i won't get attached in the near future one, or even ever)
Wang's Constant (mugging efficiency) W.
W= (Caffeine)(Time)^2(Panadol)/(Noise)(Emotions)^2(Lab Screwups)(Exams per week)(Social Life)(Writing assignments)^3(Stress)(Homesickness)(Loneliness).
Its quite obvious init. I need Time and Caffeine to mug. (Notice that sleep is not a factor). However, to keep W at constant high value, I need to cut down on noise (that's fine, my room this year is quieter), my Social Life (already limited to one outing dinner per week) Stress (which I cannot keep downsometimes) Homesickness (always at the back of my mind) and Loneliness(which .. errrgK). Looking at my life now, my mugging efficiency is higher than last semester. So, you can deduce how good my life is now huh? SO HOW I CAN GET ATTACHED LIE DAT HUH!??!!??!!?!?!??!?!?!? (so mama, i won't get attached in the near future one, or even ever)
NEED BEER MAN! been dry for 2 weeks ---> conserving brain cells in anticipation for hell week I. Still I will suffer from a net loss of neurons due to sleep deprivation, (over) caffeination, stress, more stress, and more stress. Its always a pattern I realised that has been happening to me ever since I stepped back into school after the army.
The first round of midterms will elicit the most stress hormones in my system, because much is unknown, and with that bloody sponsor's noose around my neck (..grad school or wash testtubes, bitch!...), getting less than A for first midterm will cause the stress to cumulate for the second midterm. If not, the second midterm will be more relak-one-corner. That would be the calm before the storm. By the third midterm, with the nearing finals, everyone will be ramping up and the slackers will start waking up, and this will cause the curve to generally go up, eliciting more stress. All the stress will build up into gastric and sleeplessness by 3 weeks before finals, where I'd have nightmares about getting less than 3.8 and washing testtubes forever--> it always happens around that time. By final weeks, you'd be so stressed that you can't be bothered with thinking about stress anymore and have already resigned to put your head on the guillotine, and you'd be ready to kill yourself and start wondering why the hell u took the bloody course in the first place. And of course, Last-paper-syndrome. The night before your last paper, you don't even want to prepare for the damn thing anymore, but you have to, and its the absolute worst feeling in the fucking world. And during the last paper you'd be screaming to yourself to finish it finish it fuckhead! Usually when u end your last paper, you have the customary Headache, which is a result of cumulation of no sleep, info overload and generally being pissed off at the world and bloody sponsor.
Anyway, this might be the only sem where the first round of midterms feels like finals week. Got 4 midterms in one week and thus spent the day eating books.
O what a way to start the week ahead. Hey Yah here we go-ooooo-ooooooo here we go--ooooooooo, in the night when you're sleeping I will be up mugging and mugging and mugging, where we go!! (old army song, now converted to novel and new uses)
The first round of midterms will elicit the most stress hormones in my system, because much is unknown, and with that bloody sponsor's noose around my neck (..grad school or wash testtubes, bitch!...), getting less than A for first midterm will cause the stress to cumulate for the second midterm. If not, the second midterm will be more relak-one-corner. That would be the calm before the storm. By the third midterm, with the nearing finals, everyone will be ramping up and the slackers will start waking up, and this will cause the curve to generally go up, eliciting more stress. All the stress will build up into gastric and sleeplessness by 3 weeks before finals, where I'd have nightmares about getting less than 3.8 and washing testtubes forever--> it always happens around that time. By final weeks, you'd be so stressed that you can't be bothered with thinking about stress anymore and have already resigned to put your head on the guillotine, and you'd be ready to kill yourself and start wondering why the hell u took the bloody course in the first place. And of course, Last-paper-syndrome. The night before your last paper, you don't even want to prepare for the damn thing anymore, but you have to, and its the absolute worst feeling in the fucking world. And during the last paper you'd be screaming to yourself to finish it finish it fuckhead! Usually when u end your last paper, you have the customary Headache, which is a result of cumulation of no sleep, info overload and generally being pissed off at the world and bloody sponsor.
Anyway, this might be the only sem where the first round of midterms feels like finals week. Got 4 midterms in one week and thus spent the day eating books.
O what a way to start the week ahead. Hey Yah here we go-ooooo-ooooooo here we go--ooooooooo, in the night when you're sleeping I will be up mugging and mugging and mugging, where we go!! (old army song, now converted to novel and new uses)
Sunday, September 19, 2004
I feel like the exploited class--> the proletariat of old. This time there's no Marx, no Engels, no Plekhanov and no Lenin. There's going to be no revolution this time. We aint gonna lose our chains, even if we wanted to. We can write all the petitions we want. We can "discuss" our concerns to senior management all we want. The bottom line is this: They ain't gonna give a shit, because they don't give a damn. Just like the bourgeoise of old. And the bourgeoisie of now. We're just their tools for capitalist domination. We're just cheap wage labor--. the chips on the gambling table in the 21st century game of -> Lets get more capital and grow! And there ain't no inherent contradiction this time, as predicted by the dialectic of Marx because they actually don't need to depend on us. We aren't their effectors. We're their toys, because they can throw their fucking capital at the foreign talent. So we're pretty much screwed over.
(Sorry about the left-wing terminology. Just finished Lenin's State and Revolution for my History class. but hell, I really see parallels here. and its freaking chilling. Brrr)
(Sorry about the left-wing terminology. Just finished Lenin's State and Revolution for my History class. but hell, I really see parallels here. and its freaking chilling. Brrr)
Friday, September 17, 2004
the shit has hit the fan-in many ways more than one.
I got confirmation that the sponsor wants all of us to come back after getting the degree for 1 year before going on for grad studies. .... apparently a whole bunch of us were going apeshit and flooding the email with requests for confirmation, that none of the emails were replied to. The hand holding the lease tethering me to singapore has puilled, and i'm feeling myself tugged back. Nothing I can do. We're enslaved in the first fucking place. as what they say in my old unit: lan lan suck thumb.
I've got 4 core exams in two weeks time clusteredd around 4 days. No more fun and games this time. If for some reason I screw up and get less than 3.6 GPA this time, I'd be forever stuck in a lab in singapore washing test tubes for a fucking living. I'd rather kill myself. Its Saturday tomorrow and I'm going to get screwed by Lenin's writings.
School has finally started.
I got confirmation that the sponsor wants all of us to come back after getting the degree for 1 year before going on for grad studies. .... apparently a whole bunch of us were going apeshit and flooding the email with requests for confirmation, that none of the emails were replied to. The hand holding the lease tethering me to singapore has puilled, and i'm feeling myself tugged back. Nothing I can do. We're enslaved in the first fucking place. as what they say in my old unit: lan lan suck thumb.
I've got 4 core exams in two weeks time clusteredd around 4 days. No more fun and games this time. If for some reason I screw up and get less than 3.6 GPA this time, I'd be forever stuck in a lab in singapore washing test tubes for a fucking living. I'd rather kill myself. Its Saturday tomorrow and I'm going to get screwed by Lenin's writings.
School has finally started.
Was out with the singkaporeans for two weeks now, and I can safely make these observations:
Going out with Ram is anologous to electrons in an electric field. We go straight to the place we wanna go, eat/talk/get wrecked/look at girls. The only deviations from the place of destination is when Ram gets attracted by random magnetic fields---> the angmoh bu-s dressed to their nines on the way to the meatmarket (this is wisconsin, where people drink all the time). Apart from that mild irritation (he keeps reminding that i'm a stupid chink short on equipment, if u know what i mean), everything's fine.
Out with the other group of friends reminds of of brownian motion--> completely freaking random. We can be walking when someone stops suddenly for no reason, blocking the entire pavement (we make a large crowd). We can make a left turn and end up at the poster at the right which has caught someone's eye and whom he/she finds interesting. Ordering food? a standard 3 minute impasse where the waitress looks at you and you smile back saying absolutely nothing. Even on bikes, there is clear disregard and absolutely no attention paid to the traffic. I'm still wondering how did they pass the year accident free yet I have been involved in two crashes...
Sometimes I really feel like a stupid chink.
Going out with Ram is anologous to electrons in an electric field. We go straight to the place we wanna go, eat/talk/get wrecked/look at girls. The only deviations from the place of destination is when Ram gets attracted by random magnetic fields---> the angmoh bu-s dressed to their nines on the way to the meatmarket (this is wisconsin, where people drink all the time). Apart from that mild irritation (he keeps reminding that i'm a stupid chink short on equipment, if u know what i mean), everything's fine.
Out with the other group of friends reminds of of brownian motion--> completely freaking random. We can be walking when someone stops suddenly for no reason, blocking the entire pavement (we make a large crowd). We can make a left turn and end up at the poster at the right which has caught someone's eye and whom he/she finds interesting. Ordering food? a standard 3 minute impasse where the waitress looks at you and you smile back saying absolutely nothing. Even on bikes, there is clear disregard and absolutely no attention paid to the traffic. I'm still wondering how did they pass the year accident free yet I have been involved in two crashes...
Sometimes I really feel like a stupid chink.
Thursday, September 16, 2004
What a day. To sum up (in the words of some wit): A wet day involving a chiobu and me in a compromising position, getting drenched twice, getting my arse skrewed in the midst of it all, and a nasty surprise at the end of the day. So here's a summary:
Started to rain - verrry heavily-- after Biochem, so I sped in the rain to hurry to Noland , about 8 blocks away. Some chiobu-brunette elegant, not the ubiquitous blond-slut shit variety so common like thrash around here- carrying an umbrella was jaywalking across the bike lane. My brakes were unresponsive, so I swerved, brushed against her, and went flying. Had a bad graze on my hand and arms and half of my shirt was soiled, but dammit! dind get her phone number. *shrug*
2 classes later, I was cycling back home to get changed (had some bloodstains in my clothes from the earlier fall) --> on the way back had a sudden downpour, got completely drenched. Ok, I was wet anyway so,nevermind, I went back to dorm, took a nice bath drank some strong coffee and prepared to cycle to Neuro 523. Was going up the hill on Linden drive when it started raining again, so I got completely drenched! Dammit! And my wheel was loose, so had to stop in the rain to tighten the nut to avoid a really bad accident.
So after enduring 523 in wet clothes, I proceeded to soviet history discussion, where I got my arse ripped. Basically, History majors (and professors) are intimidating, and they don't get my big-picture shit. They go for the nuances and predict the aims and purpose of the authors of the primary sources. In other words, they go through everything with a microscope, comb for fingerprints, and make conclusions. I'm pretty much screwed , unless I start asking the same questions they're asking. All this gives me a big headache.
So I proceed to lab, where lo and behold, my nice supervisor forgot to (or convieniently) start the Western. So I had to complete all the steps myself--> reached home at 8 pm , missing dinner and feeling completely pissed off.
Then I just received some disgusting news: might have to stay back for a year to rot and wash testtubes....... thats really a nice way to top it all.
WHAT A FUCKED UP DAY.
Started to rain - verrry heavily-- after Biochem, so I sped in the rain to hurry to Noland , about 8 blocks away. Some chiobu-brunette elegant, not the ubiquitous blond-slut shit variety so common like thrash around here- carrying an umbrella was jaywalking across the bike lane. My brakes were unresponsive, so I swerved, brushed against her, and went flying. Had a bad graze on my hand and arms and half of my shirt was soiled, but dammit! dind get her phone number. *shrug*
2 classes later, I was cycling back home to get changed (had some bloodstains in my clothes from the earlier fall) --> on the way back had a sudden downpour, got completely drenched. Ok, I was wet anyway so,nevermind, I went back to dorm, took a nice bath drank some strong coffee and prepared to cycle to Neuro 523. Was going up the hill on Linden drive when it started raining again, so I got completely drenched! Dammit! And my wheel was loose, so had to stop in the rain to tighten the nut to avoid a really bad accident.
So after enduring 523 in wet clothes, I proceeded to soviet history discussion, where I got my arse ripped. Basically, History majors (and professors) are intimidating, and they don't get my big-picture shit. They go for the nuances and predict the aims and purpose of the authors of the primary sources. In other words, they go through everything with a microscope, comb for fingerprints, and make conclusions. I'm pretty much screwed , unless I start asking the same questions they're asking. All this gives me a big headache.
So I proceed to lab, where lo and behold, my nice supervisor forgot to (or convieniently) start the Western. So I had to complete all the steps myself--> reached home at 8 pm , missing dinner and feeling completely pissed off.
Then I just received some disgusting news: might have to stay back for a year to rot and wash testtubes....... thats really a nice way to top it all.
WHAT A FUCKED UP DAY.
Sunday, September 12, 2004
am considering to buy a large water gun to soak the stupid buggers who were at it again at 3 am late saturday/early sunday morning. this time the jocks living in the goddamn place were doing their harley davidson impersonations with their scooters at that hour. Had half a mind to fill their freaking tanks with sugar, but that shall be reserved for the most desperate of circumstances.
alternatively, i'm thinking about throwing some sort of composite material that is hard enough to stun, but not hard enough to kill. perhaps it's filled with the odor of my unwashed socks, in order to be comparable to their stench of beer (and/or vomit) snaking out from their foul mouths.
stupid jocks.
but anyway, participated in a (large scale) social activity for a change this weekend. Went to Devil's lake (at the last minute), after my Western failed on Friday, eliminating the possibility of going to lab on Sunday.
been feeling like my supervisor's slave lately, and I had a really bad feeling starting from thursday when I ran the gel that something's going to screw up. Will have to repeat the experiment in a few weeks time, which is a good thing, because i really hate Westerns.
Perhaps the only good thing about Friday was that I ate a rather nice Italian meal with Ram and the crazy twin (and her edible sidekick), and managed to bang out a few notes on their Schimmel (which the crazy twin bought for her apartment, before she even bought a bed and established a phone line... I can picture her cuddling up to her Schimmel piano for warmth with no bed and just a few rags on a floor in the middle of a harsh Wisconsin winter, and she will tell truthfully that she is perfectly happy. Someone give the lady some cow sense please.)
This week will be the full-on schedule. Someone wish me luck; am still in a relac-one-corner mode, and I still hasnt done any full on mugging yet, bar reading for the history course.
alternatively, i'm thinking about throwing some sort of composite material that is hard enough to stun, but not hard enough to kill. perhaps it's filled with the odor of my unwashed socks, in order to be comparable to their stench of beer (and/or vomit) snaking out from their foul mouths.
stupid jocks.
but anyway, participated in a (large scale) social activity for a change this weekend. Went to Devil's lake (at the last minute), after my Western failed on Friday, eliminating the possibility of going to lab on Sunday.
been feeling like my supervisor's slave lately, and I had a really bad feeling starting from thursday when I ran the gel that something's going to screw up. Will have to repeat the experiment in a few weeks time, which is a good thing, because i really hate Westerns.
Perhaps the only good thing about Friday was that I ate a rather nice Italian meal with Ram and the crazy twin (and her edible sidekick), and managed to bang out a few notes on their Schimmel (which the crazy twin bought for her apartment, before she even bought a bed and established a phone line... I can picture her cuddling up to her Schimmel piano for warmth with no bed and just a few rags on a floor in the middle of a harsh Wisconsin winter, and she will tell truthfully that she is perfectly happy. Someone give the lady some cow sense please.)
This week will be the full-on schedule. Someone wish me luck; am still in a relac-one-corner mode, and I still hasnt done any full on mugging yet, bar reading for the history course.
Monday, September 06, 2004
One day, I'd invent a machine that probably takes a page off the ongoing DARPA project that utilises ultrasound waves to disorient enemies. I'd probably blast low frequency ultrasonic sound waves at the groups of drunk stupid chao angmohs making a racket every weekend, and cause them to puke, or at the very least run away before puking, so that well, they can shut the f**k up and let me have my decent sleep and stop reminding me that I'm a sorry loser who doesn't go out on saturday nights because I can't afford both the time and money. The streets will probably stink to high heaven the morning after, and there would be a ubiquitous background cadence of retching; but hell, its better than the shouting and screaming at 3 am in the freaking morning. And I thought mating cats were the worst I've heard. Ah well. That would really be a geek's best friend.
Went out three times with Ram during the labor day weekend, and two out of three times he was high on pot. So I had to contend with a slow, slurring glassy eyed goofy bag of walking fat with an irristable craving for chocolate and an unhealthy tendency to set things on fire. The bugger kept playing with matches and lighting them while we were quafing down the really nice scotch ale. I was worrying by the time we were finished, the worried looking servers might be calling the police on us. (Didn't happen fortunately)
Not that I minded. Had really good beer and consumed a bonus of really high quality ice cream. The only irritating thing was that the Toberlerone he bought while he was high melted in his pants, so the dollar notes he gave me were all coated with chocolate and his saliva. Stupid bugger.
Had a weird dream yesterday night though. Those would-be psychologists and the like are welcome to analyse this for me. I dreamt that I met this really hippie ang moh who happened to pronounce my first name correctly, who likes to drink good beer, and enjoys sop kambing. Of course, I ended erm, marrying her (to say the least) and get this.. i dreamt that i got pregnant with a pair of twins and i could feel them kicking in my tummy. damn! and in the end I was feeling guilty because I just had 2 pints of scotch and a some really good coffee which, obviously isn't really that good for a fetus. And thats when I woke up. I seriously don't know what to make of it.... Perhaps its the feminine side kicking in? (sheesh)
Am feeling very weird now. someone please tell me what should i make of this dream.
Not that I minded. Had really good beer and consumed a bonus of really high quality ice cream. The only irritating thing was that the Toberlerone he bought while he was high melted in his pants, so the dollar notes he gave me were all coated with chocolate and his saliva. Stupid bugger.
Had a weird dream yesterday night though. Those would-be psychologists and the like are welcome to analyse this for me. I dreamt that I met this really hippie ang moh who happened to pronounce my first name correctly, who likes to drink good beer, and enjoys sop kambing. Of course, I ended erm, marrying her (to say the least) and get this.. i dreamt that i got pregnant with a pair of twins and i could feel them kicking in my tummy. damn! and in the end I was feeling guilty because I just had 2 pints of scotch and a some really good coffee which, obviously isn't really that good for a fetus. And thats when I woke up. I seriously don't know what to make of it.... Perhaps its the feminine side kicking in? (sheesh)
Am feeling very weird now. someone please tell me what should i make of this dream.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
1st day of school today, nothing much but of course, soon the shit will follow. Been deprived of internet for more than a week now, and its pissing me off. Jaby sez wait a few weeks, but my guess is by end of next week, everyone will be pissed off and will start throwing things at that stupid cheap bastard craphead of the landlord, who promised us a T1 connection but instead piggybacked 7 DSL connections onto the dorm. Stupid cheap bastard, and he doesnt handle the DSL hookup applications now, so we'd have to do it ourselves. I foresee it would be months before I finally can do the usual stuff I do everyday online(ie, talking on MSN, surfing for, er, distractions). Having no MSN messenger around is already truncating my already shitty social life. I'm dying from deprivation, and I simply cannot stand jostling for space in the computer room downstairs with those spoilt knn cb korean freshmen. The guys especially, since they all look like stupid dumb gay bitchshits. Who the hell started this trend of freaking Asians dying their goddamn hair in patchworks and gelling it up to look like a work of a spray artist who happened to be high on amphetamines and thus made a rather botched job of er, creating a work of art that looks like a cross between dyed pubic hair and Chewbacca's left buttock? And why is it the rage nowadays for girls to like korean actors, when the representative male specimens all look like metrosexual gay bullshits?
Am starting to question 1) Why the hell did I sign the lease to stay in this STUPID place in the first place? 2) What the fuck is wrong with the freshmen of the world? (Was never a freshman in a freshman sense)
On the research front, I cut my teeth on thursday, when the supervisor threw me into the cauldron and made me present what shit i did so far for the project. On hindsight, it was rather more like a shooting gallery than a group meeting, and I came out of the meeting with the following conclusion: My cerebral cortex tends to shut down in front of a crowd, and hence the tendency of speaking in monosyllabus increases in a dose dependent manner hinging upon the amount of people and the degree of hostility (or antipathy) they have towards my work. Dick, the other lao jiao on my lab and my supervisor had a protracted argument which arose from a difference in opinion (is that goddamn thing on the gelshift a full length or truncated protein goddamit?). In any case, this was the first time I had a migraine after going back from lab.
If I survive this semester,I'm going to give myself a break. No more garang stuff for me for Spring.
Am starting to question 1) Why the hell did I sign the lease to stay in this STUPID place in the first place? 2) What the fuck is wrong with the freshmen of the world? (Was never a freshman in a freshman sense)
On the research front, I cut my teeth on thursday, when the supervisor threw me into the cauldron and made me present what shit i did so far for the project. On hindsight, it was rather more like a shooting gallery than a group meeting, and I came out of the meeting with the following conclusion: My cerebral cortex tends to shut down in front of a crowd, and hence the tendency of speaking in monosyllabus increases in a dose dependent manner hinging upon the amount of people and the degree of hostility (or antipathy) they have towards my work. Dick, the other lao jiao on my lab and my supervisor had a protracted argument which arose from a difference in opinion (is that goddamn thing on the gelshift a full length or truncated protein goddamit?). In any case, this was the first time I had a migraine after going back from lab.
If I survive this semester,I'm going to give myself a break. No more garang stuff for me for Spring.
