Sunday, May 08, 2005
its that time of the year again! life is wonderful!
i've merely got 3 actual exams to clear this time, as opposed to 6 last sem. How lucky I am! How lucky I am to end up in the same state again, with the luxury of time to stare at my notes all day long, thinking long glorious thoughts about genes, genes, more genes, and a little bit of chaperonin shit and a whole dustinload of neuro!! How freakin' lucky! I'm shitting myself already!
I simply love it when i enter the state of Total Mugging, where my very existence is defined by the sheer volume of wonderful knowledge waiting to be digested and regurgitated like a foul smelling furball, with food and water breaks for sustenance.(of course, if i die.. well, i'm dispensable.. like a piece of toilet tissue) Let my professors wonder at my ability to retain large loads of knowledge that i would have absolutely no use for in the near future (ok, this time, only one, but.. how cares? shit is shit, init!) Let them marvel at the exactitude of the bullshit they've thrown at us via the self deprecating way i throw back at them.
Gosh! I hate the greenery outside my window. It reminds one too much of home, just as Bach's Cello Suite No. 6 reminds one of love lost and passed on by. I cannot look out at the freakin' window, I cannot. Too much happiness is no good for me. Let me remain in my squalid semi-permanent virginal monasteric existence here. Here is good, for I will always be guaranteed to lose weight, slaving away at that freaking lab and eating subway everyday just like last summer (oh, how time flies. i'm old already. a year to my death thats what it is) , with Spaten Optimator as my only sin. Take me far away from home; this alien notion of home, where the heart is and where i belong, when i'm right at the beginning of that energy hill that is the finals, is so near yet so freaking far. I'm not going home. i'm staying here. for two. more. freaking. weeks. thus, let me wallow with the hedonists and their politics, their sneering condescending way of doing things. No i shall not wallow; alone I shall be, as always.
which reminds one of the question thats been beating out in a death march like an infestation in my head. Why isn't this ascetic lifestyle giving me peace? Where is peace when one needs one... like right now huh? huh?
i've merely got 3 actual exams to clear this time, as opposed to 6 last sem. How lucky I am! How lucky I am to end up in the same state again, with the luxury of time to stare at my notes all day long, thinking long glorious thoughts about genes, genes, more genes, and a little bit of chaperonin shit and a whole dustinload of neuro!! How freakin' lucky! I'm shitting myself already!
I simply love it when i enter the state of Total Mugging, where my very existence is defined by the sheer volume of wonderful knowledge waiting to be digested and regurgitated like a foul smelling furball, with food and water breaks for sustenance.(of course, if i die.. well, i'm dispensable.. like a piece of toilet tissue) Let my professors wonder at my ability to retain large loads of knowledge that i would have absolutely no use for in the near future (ok, this time, only one, but.. how cares? shit is shit, init!) Let them marvel at the exactitude of the bullshit they've thrown at us via the self deprecating way i throw back at them.
Gosh! I hate the greenery outside my window. It reminds one too much of home, just as Bach's Cello Suite No. 6 reminds one of love lost and passed on by. I cannot look out at the freakin' window, I cannot. Too much happiness is no good for me. Let me remain in my squalid semi-permanent virginal monasteric existence here. Here is good, for I will always be guaranteed to lose weight, slaving away at that freaking lab and eating subway everyday just like last summer (oh, how time flies. i'm old already. a year to my death thats what it is) , with Spaten Optimator as my only sin. Take me far away from home; this alien notion of home, where the heart is and where i belong, when i'm right at the beginning of that energy hill that is the finals, is so near yet so freaking far. I'm not going home. i'm staying here. for two. more. freaking. weeks. thus, let me wallow with the hedonists and their politics, their sneering condescending way of doing things. No i shall not wallow; alone I shall be, as always.
which reminds one of the question thats been beating out in a death march like an infestation in my head. Why isn't this ascetic lifestyle giving me peace? Where is peace when one needs one... like right now huh? huh?
