Wednesday, March 16, 2005
either i'm burnt out, or i'm losing it quite soon.
don't seem to be able to concentrate properly nowadays in class. when the prof talks i only see his mouth move and his body gesturing. i can hear the scrabble of pens on paper. i can hear the hiss of paper shearing on paper. what i can't hear is the prof's words.
it comes out like a slush of static and occasionally, i can vaguely make out keywords and some concepts by looking at the board, but nothing goes in. if the class laughs at some lame joke i laugh along. can't help it. its freaking herd instinct. i look at my notes and its a pile of mumbo jumbo bullshit.
in lab i can't seem to remember what i did a few minutes ago. started to question myself again and again and again, and i'm rapidly losing my zen in procedures. goddamn i thought i didn't screw up in the westerns today, but goddamn no signal at all. i think its a truncation in vivo, but how the hell am i going to convince my supervisor when my confidence is all shot and i can't think properly nowadays?
think i'm going mad
don't seem to be able to concentrate properly nowadays in class. when the prof talks i only see his mouth move and his body gesturing. i can hear the scrabble of pens on paper. i can hear the hiss of paper shearing on paper. what i can't hear is the prof's words.
it comes out like a slush of static and occasionally, i can vaguely make out keywords and some concepts by looking at the board, but nothing goes in. if the class laughs at some lame joke i laugh along. can't help it. its freaking herd instinct. i look at my notes and its a pile of mumbo jumbo bullshit.
in lab i can't seem to remember what i did a few minutes ago. started to question myself again and again and again, and i'm rapidly losing my zen in procedures. goddamn i thought i didn't screw up in the westerns today, but goddamn no signal at all. i think its a truncation in vivo, but how the hell am i going to convince my supervisor when my confidence is all shot and i can't think properly nowadays?
think i'm going mad
