Wang's Kitchen

my mind is nicely plastered with Spaten. i have nothing to say but i have an urge to communicate.
i still don't understand what i was thinking when i took the courses i took this semester. they're turning out to be pains in the asses. i wish that the view from the lab was as clear from the classroom than the actual view from the lab in the lab itself'; its been a year since i've worked on the project and i've got no results since. its been merely a sine curve of expectation/disappointment. the rising phase of expectation and then the steep fall to the -y axis as i see my experiments fail time after time.
ah well.
off to sleep then; its time to anaesthesize my mind.
good night.

i've got nothing to say. really. (and i'm tipsy. it seems Herr Spaten is my constant companion nowadays. now, will they start importing to singapore and replace that bullshit Erdinger with something better?)

i don't know where my project is headed, after all that shit with the weird bands. How the hell does one characterize something without half-decent antisera? Its like trying to arrest one of a pair of triplets, and they di'nd bring their blarrrrrdy ICs. And you can't see them, because you're blind. what the hell. Ignore me anyway..
Have been drinking tea instead of coffee and I must say, tea is stronger than coffee. Well, only in my case, because I have a penchant for not throwing away old tea bags and leaving them for a few days to soak in with new tea bags, so I end up with 6+ teabags in my small mug, and you should see the color of the stuff produced when i brew the thing. (can't describe, it reminds one of the toilet bowl water. yes, after a bombing mission.)
Tea works in strange ways. Coffee (brewed my way, a 9 to 1 ratio thereabouts) cracks open your skull with a jackhammer and makes you produce ectopic REMs when you read a text at 230 am in the morning. Tea on the otherhand, massages your cerebral cortex and gently tells you, in that sexy low **** me voice , "hey baby, time to wake up". No ectopic REMs or what not. Just a gentle bounding high. Of course, you won't be able to sleep later, but thats not the point.
Oh what the hell, its time for beer. Spaten Optimator BockBier :) ( And Mr Wind, I tole you Heineken and that distilled lager shit tastes like piss:P_

this is verry weird.
i was staring at a bacty genetics question for 50 minutes. Earlier I had drank 2 cups of very potent teh ni (condensed milk smuggled in from Singapore), and was so jumpy my train of thought went to the dogs.
Out of desperation and perhaps as a tribute from my German ex-roommate who used to write his thesis with a beer in hand and Rage against the Machine (and/or Radiohead) blasting through his earphones, I opened a Spaten, downed half of it, and stared at the question. About 10 minutes later, I got the answer.

The wonders of beer man! Wonder whether I can smuggle a few shots of vodka into the exam hall next tuesday...

thanks yx for burning me the Butterfly Lover's Concerto. (even though its by vanessa mae :P). Am listening to it and thinking of home now. :)

Ho-bloody-Ho

Today's supposedly CNY morning. Went to the lab, and developed my gelshift results. Turns out, the damned bands were artifacts. That means no publication liao loh!
I'm so bloody lucky this year.

Ah well, Happy Chinese New Year to the rest of you then.

Registered for GRE, and took a peek at the syllabus.
Good news: i did most of the stuff last semester.
Bad news: I threw my frickin' notes away at the end of last semester.

Clearly, while some are born under the shadow of Murphy's Law, and others have Murphy's Law thrust upon them, I singlehandedly cause Murphy's Law to come true. All the time.

(and now i have to pore through a ton of material in the texts. literally and figuratively)

its about time the hermit crab went back to its shell. emotional roller coaster rides are not my thing.

its about the tradeoffs. why can't i have my frickin' cake and eat it? for once?

today was supposed to be a good day:

small triumph at the lab. no screw ups during the experiments. supervisor was quite happy and for once did not show his default lanjiaobin at me. class went fine, i did not fall asleep; managed to snuck out of Mcardle by 6 pm which is notchbad already. Usually i'd still be assraped until about 7pm.

its supposed to be a good day, but its all been overshadowed by persistent thoughts; of bad outcomes and of thoughts of not measuring up.
This hasn't happened to me in a long while, and its frickin' eating me up. I don't like it and i hate myself for acting pathetic. for printing 6 useless papers (or rather, yet to be used) for the chance of catching a glimpse of her. of catching just a smile.
if this is the way i fall into that bottomless pit of infatuation, then i don't want to go down into that stinking hole.
i have to revert back to my old self. the unfeeling drone that can chomp through tons of readings and assignments.
being human is fucking scary, to say the least.