Friday, November 12, 2004
2/3rds of the term is over. at this slice in time, it feels like back in the bad ole days in the army, where I'm in the 2nd day of a 3 day bridging exercise: 2 missions completed and waiting for the last one to begin; the goodies i hid in my tonner have been eaten up by my section buggers, am completely drenched in swampy water and the commando mosquitos has bitten half my face off, and worse of all, i aint got enough sleep.
at this juncture, i'm barely surviving. though 2 cycles of midterms (whoever invented the term "midterm" must be shot. overhere its more like a quarterterm) are over, and the schedule for the third cycle on paper seems easy enough (3 in a week, as compared to 6 in 2, and 7 in 3), I can't help but feel goddamn sian.
i'm starting to get sick of mugging/reading almost every night out of necessity so that i can stay afloat in the sea of deadlines, term papers and midterms. i don't get enough sleep during the weekends. I haven't had beer for 2 weeks, the thought of home hardly comforts me. all this to meet standards. *gah*
CsCl2 extraction in the lab is a pain in the arse; i get EtBr all over my gloves and i get zapped by the advertent long wave UV exposure; gel shifts and westerns take up all my time, and i don't even want to get started on the ubiqutious molec. cloning with barely competent cells. Nowadays i don't get back to dorm until 7-ish and have to eat that disgusting shit/dorm food as a lunch/dinner.
sometimes i wonder whether it's worth it, fighting so hard in two attempts to be able to end up here, working in the lab to "gain experience and look good on the CV", plus all that bloody mugging.
i don't have a life here, i don't have a love or passion for anything or everything or something. Yet, I'm supposed to have everything already at this moment . Ironically, i'm my architect of my dichotomous state. Its all my fault. *gah*
(i don't like to rave and rant... is this a rave /rant?..*gah* in spite of the conscious efforts by yours truly to not do that, here i am sounding like a ....... angst filled balloon full of hot air)
at this juncture, i'm barely surviving. though 2 cycles of midterms (whoever invented the term "midterm" must be shot. overhere its more like a quarterterm) are over, and the schedule for the third cycle on paper seems easy enough (3 in a week, as compared to 6 in 2, and 7 in 3), I can't help but feel goddamn sian.
i'm starting to get sick of mugging/reading almost every night out of necessity so that i can stay afloat in the sea of deadlines, term papers and midterms. i don't get enough sleep during the weekends. I haven't had beer for 2 weeks, the thought of home hardly comforts me. all this to meet standards. *gah*
CsCl2 extraction in the lab is a pain in the arse; i get EtBr all over my gloves and i get zapped by the advertent long wave UV exposure; gel shifts and westerns take up all my time, and i don't even want to get started on the ubiqutious molec. cloning with barely competent cells. Nowadays i don't get back to dorm until 7-ish and have to eat that disgusting shit/dorm food as a lunch/dinner.
sometimes i wonder whether it's worth it, fighting so hard in two attempts to be able to end up here, working in the lab to "gain experience and look good on the CV", plus all that bloody mugging.
i don't have a life here, i don't have a love or passion for anything or everything or something. Yet, I'm supposed to have everything already at this moment . Ironically, i'm my architect of my dichotomous state. Its all my fault. *gah*
(i don't like to rave and rant... is this a rave /rant?..*gah* in spite of the conscious efforts by yours truly to not do that, here i am sounding like a ....... angst filled balloon full of hot air)
